tdaxp

"Vampire Candidate 'Won't Hide Evil Side'," Associated Press, 12 January 2005, http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,181501,00.html (hat-tip to Brendan of I Hate Linux).

While some political scientists argue that terrorists should be covered under the Geneva Conventions, a far wiser suggestion comes from the state that asked child abusers to kill their victims:

One gubernatorial candidate in Minnesota is giving a whole new meaning to the "dark side" of politics. A man who calls himself a satanic priest plans to run for governor on a 13-point platform that includes the public impaling of terrorists at the state Capitol building.

Jonathon Sharkey, also known as "The Impaler", plans to launch his gubernatorial campaign on — when else? — Friday the 13th. He'll make the announcement in Princeton.

"I'm going to be totally open and honest," said the 41-year-old leader of the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party."

"Unlike other candidates, I'm not going to hide my evil side," he said.

In Minnesota, anyone who pays the $300 filing fee can get on the gubernatorial ballot and it seems that every year a few eccentric candidates make the rounds.

Sharkey raises the bar. For one thing, he told the Star Tribune in an e-mail that he drinks blood.

Including the impaling of terrorists, rapists, drug dealers and other criminals, Sharkey's platform includes emphasis on education, tax breaks for farmers and better benefits for veterans.

Sharkey said he worships Lucifer and, while he says he has nothing against Christians, he calls the "Christian God the Father" his "mortal enemy."

While I oppose his destroy-God-ism, I do support his impaling-bin-Laden-ism.

Certainly Sharkey is as sensisble as this nut.

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey for Governor of Minnesota - 2006

Update: Arrested. Hat-tip Kos.