tdaxp

I laughed so hard at this satire that it hurts:

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Read the whole thing.

A couple funnies on the Dozier Internet Law saga (you know, the guys who threatned Information Scams and executes code on your computer without letting you see it). The first three are from Brendan of I Hate Linux:

The last link is a satire of Dozier's homepage.

The mainstrea media is so locked into its liberal v. conservative stupidity that often real stories are not told, because they do not fit some stereotype of what political debate should be. Fortunately, youtube journalists (the video equiavalent of bloggers) have stepped up. I agree with My Everything that the threat Bush cites is overypped, if not imaginary.

Everything has covered previous Bush press conferences before, as well as Attorney General Gonzales's disturbing testimony before the House of Representatives.

It's been a while since George Will has been politically relevant, but faithful reader PKA has obtained a draft copy of a column that will run the week of Fred Thompson's announcement.

Will's column will make a splash, and potentially cause troubles for the Thompson campaign:

The British navy found that, despite seemingly favorably odds, the Dardanelles Channel guarding Constantinople proved impenetrable for His Majesty's Navy.

Fred Thompson is about the learn the same.

I sit here, staring at an asp I purchased a week before yesterday. An asp of the same variety as took the life of Cleopatra Makedonus. I purchased the snake for one reason.

If Fred Thompson wins the party nomination, I will kill myself.

There is party suicide and there is personal suicide. There shall not be one without the other.

If Fred Thompson steps up to the podium in Saint Paul to accept the Republican National Committee's nomination for President, I will step down from this mortal coil. If he shuffles on stage, I shuffle off.

For the great majority of contemporary Americans without an exposure to the classics, I will repeat myself in the vulgate of our times

If Fred Thompson wins the primary, I will kill myself.

As the generational struggle against Muscovy taught Americans "Better dead than Red," I now say: "Better dead than under Fred."

I present this challenge to Senator Thompson, a fake prosecutor on a fake crime show and a very real deadbeat: if you continue to run, you will kill me.

This is not an idle threat, nor misdirected scorn. My standards, my virtue, my honesty, my determination are beyond doubt. To crib, perhaps, the third-person form of address made famous by the World War veteran from Kansas: "George Will does not lie. George Will tells the truth."

"If Fred Thompson wins, George Will dies."

Senator Thompson, save America, and save my life.

Don't run.

Don't run the Dardanelles of the Beltway.

Fred Thompson apparently heard of this slightly below I did, as his YouTube response is already up:

The probably with hoping for bizarre crossovers is that you eventually get your wish. (Watch on youtube, hat-tip to Technorati.)

The original lyrics are also available. The best review goes to brandons131313: "I never noticed it but this song actually makes no sense."

tdaxp note: my great appreciation to Catholic Exchange, CNN, My Way, and you-know-who for making this news report possible

The leader of the world's largest Christian organization has joined other world leaders in conemending violence over the publication of statuesque caricatures of Jesus Christ.

Benedict XVI, head of the Roman Catholic Church, joined with U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and Condoleeza Rice, the U.S. Secretary of State, in calling for calm, saying they were "deeply alarmed at the repercussions" the statue has caused.

"We call on the authorities of all countries to protect all diplomatic premises and foreign citizens against unlawful attack," read the statement released by the three world leaders.

The violence that has swept across parts of the world has come mainly in response to the publication -- mainly in American newspapers -- of a caricature of Jesus Christ, something considered offensive under Christian faith.

Across much of the Christian world on Wednesday, political leaders urged calm over the dispute.

In Paraguay, that nation's top Catholic bishop called for an end to riots against the statue, as police shot dead two protesters to sto hundreds of them from marching on a U.S. military base near Asunción, the Associate Press reported. At least 10 people were wounded, the AP reported, quoting officials.

Allawi’s Law: Season Three Trailer

Allawi's Law, developed by long-time tdaxp-reader PKA, is a reimagining of The Shield, but with international politicians in all the major roles. The Season 2 Teaser came out in March 2005, so it is about time for the Season 3 Trailor...

Enjoy!

The trailer immediately begins in an afternoon sun-lit room. Standing up and visibly nervous is L. Paul Bremer. Sitting down is the new chief of police, Colin Powell.



Bremer: He’s been a problem in my side since day one. Even now I, a city council member, have to put up with Allawi. There’s nothing I can do! But he’s your problem now.

Powell: Wrong Bremer. He’s OUR problem. I will set things up but we have to finish him together. Remember that I made you.

Colin Powell: The New Chief of Police

Bremer (Close to panicking): But I’m my own man now!

Powell (Angier in his voice): Fool! Voinovich thought the same thing and now he is crying like a baby because of what I did to him! We must take out Allawi!

Voinovich: Another of Powell's Many Victims...

Bremer: I’ll help you get Allawi but then I’m out. What do you have in mind?

Iyad Allawi: The Shield of Justice

Powell: Sharon.

Ariel Sharon: Working with Internal Affairs?

Screen shows Bremer’s shocked expression while an announcer’s voice is heard.

Announcer: This fall, Allawi’s Law meets its biggest challenge yet.

Screen shows Sharon making a speech in front of the other cops.

Sharon: Due to Chalibi’s leave of absence I am now head of Internal Affairs. The strike team will have a new leader since I’m busting Allawi down. Everyone, meet Shimon Peres.

Peres: Thank you my friend. I pledge allegiance to the victor.

Shimon Peres: Unlikely Ally for Ariel Sharon?

Camera moves to show Allawi and the strike team’s shocked expression. Allawi runs up to Powell.

Allawi: What is this?

Powell: Your downfall, of course.

Next scene shows Powell alone with two of Allawi’s lieutenants.

Announcer: Loyalties will be tested.

1st Lieutenant (With malice in his voice): What do you want?

Powell: You know what I want. Allawi. And I’ll reward those who give him to me.

The first lieutenant spits at Powell but the second lieutenant, played by Gordon Brown, appears to think about the proposal in his head.

The subsequent scene has Allawi and the Lieutenants at a bar discussing plans and events.

Allawi: The strike team did what?

1st Lieutenant: We were forced to arrest your old partner, Netanyahu on charges of trying to impede the investigation of al-Jaafari.

Benjamin Netanyahu: Framed by Colin Powell?

Allawi: What? That’s nonsense!

Brown: What are you going to do?

Gordon Brown: Loyal Deputy to Iyad Allawi

Allawi: Try to save me, the team, Bibi, and take down Powell and al-Jaafari.

Announcer: This season will be a long, dark night for Allawi

The final part is grayed-out. Allawi is sitting hunched over. He is looking down away from the camera. Johnny Cash’s Hurt is playing on the soundtrack. Voice-overs are heard.

Allawi: Who is setting me up? My team?

1st Lieutenant: Gordon, you told Sharon about the money train?!?

Allawi: My enemies?

Peres: Officer Sharon, the strike team is turning on itself.

Allawi: My allies?

Brown: Don’t shoot! Bolton is Allawi’s friend!

Will John Bolton be able to save Iyad Allawi?

Sharon: I know.

BAM!

Condi Rice: You can’t be here Allawi. You’re a wanted man. What are you going to do?
Allawi: Take them all down.

Condoleeza Rice: Allawi's Last Friend Inside the Department?

Allawi then looks up into the camera with a stern look.

Announcer: This fall, Allawi stands up for justice!

"Sources: Plame Learned Covert Status from Woodward," by Scott Ott, Scrappleface, 16 November 2005, http://www.scrappleface.com/?p=2072 (from The Corner).

An extreme form of 5GW, apparently:

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, who secured grand jury indictments against a top Bush administration official last month, today announced he may be close to discovering who told Valerie Plame that she was an undercover CIA agent.

Mr. Fitzgerald refused to release any names, but sources close to the probe said evidence indicates that the Washington Post’s Bob Woodward may have revealed Ms. Plame’s covert status to her.

The prosecutor declined to comment on Mr. Woodward’s possible connection to the case, instead he focused on Ms. Plame’s apparent ignorance of her role at the Central Intelligence Agency.

“In the months, and even years, leading up to July 2003, Valerie Plame was not behaving like someone who knew she was a covert agent,” said Mr. Fitzgerald. “The woman friends knew as Mrs. Joe Wilson seems to have learned of her undercover status at about the same time a reference to her appeared in Robert Novak’s syndicated column.”

The prosecutor said it may be a violation of federal law to reveal a CIA agent’s covert status to the agent.

“We’re looking at what’s called ‘deep deep cover’ in the intel community,” Mr. Fitzgerald said. “In other words, the CIA unwittingly may have been using Mrs. Wilson as an undercover agent without her knowledge, or the knowledge of anyone else at the Agency.”

Meanwhile, as former vice presidential chief of staff I. Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby awaits trial on five counts of hindering the CIA leak probe, Mr. Novak and Mr. Woodward remain at large.

Scrappleface has been featured on tdaxp before.

Another Seuss parody, by way of Chirol. No hot chicks this time, though....